mater vox latin : mothers voice
by glitterynile
Summary: its quatres 21st birthday and he reflects on his mother and her gift to the world…himself; part of the coming of age arc


Coming of Age Arc - mater vox (Latin : mothers voice)  


* * *

I sighed, content in my overly large sweater, lounging on the cream colored loveseat in my living room. I had recently purchased a new sound system and was enjoying it profusely. My thoughts drifted to and fro, mainly on my family that I was not longer apart of and - my mother.   
Phil Coulter & James Galway's - The Gentle Maiden was next up, I hummed along with the counter melody, I always enjoyed the second part more than the first, I always felt exposed playing the lead. 

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy playing solos but I prefer duets. For many reasons, not all musical though.

Leaning back I burrowed further among the plush cushions and pillows and I began to drift off to sleep when a gentle chuckle brought me back to consciousness. Blinking back sleep, but never taking my cheek off the couches arm rest I looked up to see Trowas tall figure.  
"Sleepy?" he asked knowing the answer all too well.   
I shrugged in response, and he sat down beside me, carefully avoiding my legs that were curled under my body.

"Mmmm, so any plans for tonight?" I asked as I changed my position and turned to rest my head in his lap. He didn't answer right away but he rested his hand on my shoulder, and began run circles over the bone with his thumb.   
"We could go out to eat or..." I added trailing off, "we could always just stay home" I finished adding while running my hand up his leg then bringing it to rest on his knee, giving it a slight squeeze.   
"That sounds like something you'd like Quat". I shifted around and brought my head up to try and meet his. Falling short of my goal, I found no loss and just settled to lay kisses along his neck and throat. I smiled when I heard his breath hitch as I nibbled at his Adams apple.   
I tried once more to sit up and ending up resting on my lovers lap, my legs on either sides of his. Finally I was face to face with Trowa and I was pleased to look into his green eyes.   
"You're a devilish one" he said in a matter-of-fact way. I only arched my eyebrows and leaned in for a kiss. I moaned blissfully as I felt his tongue claim my mouth. After awhile the need for air forced us to part, that's when I realized that even after all this time I don't think I will ever tire of that hungry look that rested in Trowas gaze. 

There was heat, passion, hunger, lust...and love.  
  
I smirked tonight was going to be fun. I was about to lean in once more but before I could...  
"Quatre! Open Up man!" I rolled my eyes and sighed, Trowa only smirked.   
"Looks like our guests arrived early" he stated calmly while he gently pushed me off his lap and onto the sofa.   
"You invited Duo!" I huffed and pouted on the couch bringing my arms across my chest. Don't get me wrong Duo's one of best friends' he's just…  
"Quatre I know Duos a little noisy but its your birthday so I thought - Why not you enjoy with the rest of the guys as well?"  
I huffed once more - damn why did Trowa know my thoughts to a tee.

"You only invited them so Duo could get me piss drunk" Trowa smiled as I so eloquently replied.   
"And why would I do that?" He tossed the comment over his shoulder as he headed toward the door. I groaned and stood up trying best to smooth out my wrinkled clothes.   
"Because one- I would look stupid and two - so I would sleep with you!" I shouted to my lover. But unfortunately he wasn't the only one to hear. Imagine my surprise to look up and see a mildly shocked Heero, Wufei and Duo - yes Duo, wearing the smuggest shit-eat'n grin I had ever seen.   
Here it comes… 

"Man Q-man I don't know what I missed but there must be a problem if you have to get drunk in order to sleep with Trowa. From what I hear you get pretty hot and heavy anyway-" but before anymore of that vile comment could be produced Wufei rushed to my rescue.   
"Quatre I'm glad you are doing well, Happy birthday." He stated rather quickly while stepping in front of Duo.  
Heero next spoke up, "Happy Birthday Quatre" he offered me a warm smile. 

To think the only two sane people in the room with me was Chang Wufei and Heero Yuy.   
- An anal uptight Chinese man  
- And a block of ice  
-hun... my own lover didn't even stand up for me…

If Trowa wants some tonight he is going to have to work for it- and then work for it some more!  
I smiled and greeted my friends, "Thank you all for coming to visit, this is a surprise for me- Trowa is the one who has planned this evening", shaking their hands as I spoke.  
The pair nodded and stepped back allowing Duo to tackle me in a gigantic hug.   
"Happy Birthday Quatre!" He shouted in my ear, I could only laugh at his antics.   
"Well thank you Duo!" Duo smiled and slapped me on the back. - A' friendship lets him get away with too much.   
Trowa stepped in the room and finished greeting our old friends, just as Duo whispered in my ear, "seriously happy twenty-first birthday Quatre."  
"Thanks Duo" I whispered back and gave him a hug. I sighed in his arms and it felt great, I was really happy Trowa had decided to invite everyone. Just as I was about to pull out of the embrace Duo tighten his hold and shoved my face into his chest.   
"Ahhhhhhh! Help me Heero! Trowa tell you lover boy to stop molesting me!" I sighed and let my arms slip limply to my sides. It was going to be a long night.

*****

"And then Heero told me to shut up! Can you believe that Q-man! He told ME to shut up!" Duo continued to shout into my ear and I continued to ignore him. The evening was going great. We all had dinner at the apartment - just the way I like it, nice and simple, and now we has retired to the living room for conversation.   
Heero only shook his head while Wufei and Trowa chuckled. I felt my lovers chest move as he laughed, I was resting with my back on his torso, my head just below his. I felt my eyes grow heavy then joined in on the laughter as well.   
I exhaled and snuggle back into Trowa chest and he draped a protective arm around me. My head was swimming a bit - hey completely reasonable, I had just turned 21 and had my first experience with alcohol. 

I had decided to take what Duo calls "a cowards way out" and only consume about a beer and a half, and a shot or two of tequila. Hump. I guess I was not *manly* enough to consume well lets see- 4 beers, a couple shouts of hard liquor, and drain a bottle of Johnny Walker. - hmmm I bet he'll be eating his words when he wakes up tomorrow.  
Heero was the smart one - he stuck with ice water the whole night. Wufei - well he had a beer and half a bottle of sake, I don't know how he can hold that much liquor and not act like a child. 

I bet I know who the designated driver is. 

As the evening was coming to a close I began to revisit my early thoughts. I have dwelled on the past long enough and have finally put it behind me. All expect for the element of my mother.   
Yes I had a real mother - it was a shock to me when my father told me in a fit of anger. Let me see something to the words of,   
"what! What! Damn it Quatre your mother wasted her life to bring you into this world-"  
Then he went on to enlighten me that yes, I really did have a mother and I was not artificially created, that yes, she died during my birth. He made me feel like a murder and at the time it fit my mind frame pretty well. 

I was a murder, was since I was born- but not anymore.   
Having a real mother made me wonder how would my life turned out if she lived?  
Questions such as:  
Would I have ran away to be a gundam pilot?  
Would the wars have ended?  
Would I ever met Trowa?

And now on the 21st anniversary of my mothers death I question if my life would be something she would have been proud of. But these are all private musing - I only mentioned my knowledge of my real mother to Trowa once.   
As Duo laughs once more breaking me from my thoughts, I feel the day coming to a close. Wufei and Heero struggle to help him stand and he wobbles on unsteady feet. I give my thanks and goodbye - to comfortable to leave Trowas lap.   
In the past my nature would force me to stand and give my respect to my guests but now I never give into that forced reaction and conditioning. Instead I just laugh and smile and bid my friends a good night and a safe journey.   
As my friends leave I run my hand up Trowas chest and up to his face pulling him down for a kiss. Sweet and chaste nothing more, a kiss of gratitude. He smoothes my bangs out of my face and rubs my stomach. I purr in content, hmmm I did enjoy tonight I take back what I said about him not getting any…

*****

I groaned as Trowa thrust into me once more, it was slow torture. He rotated his hips in slow circles and ran his hands along my sides. My throat was lust locked and I arched my back in response. 

I tighten one of my hands resting on his back and let out a breathless huff. He withdrew once more and I crossed my legs around his lower back hoping to urge him on, but I know Trowa all to well. This is how he has always mades love, slow, long, and torturously sweet.   
Consistently gentle he takes his time drawing out pleasure with each passing movement trying to make it last forever.   
I cry out as he sinks into me again. My eyes flash open as he hits that glorious spot within me, I shake and groan my back arching again.  
He seems to slow his movements the closer we get. With one sharp movement I jerk with my release and fall back against the bed. He groans and the lets out a hiss- his breathe a hot rush against my ear, his forearms support him as he sags above me.   
Tenderly he slide out of me and falls to his side and gathers me in his arms.   
Our harsh patting is the only sound left to fill our silent room. 

Lowering his head he trails kisses along my neck and nips my earlobe.   
"God I love you Quat" his kisses slightly falter as he whispers against my neck. I bring on hand up and trace his jaw and bring him close for a kiss.  
"I love you too" My head sags a bit and I can feel sleep overcoming me; it has been an excellent day. 

*****

I open my eyes quickly and am faced with darkness. My heart beat calms down as I realize I am in bed and no longer asleep. My back snuggled against my lovers' warm chest and one of his strong arms is draped around my waist. I sigh and relax, I have a tendency to wake in a panic - old habits die hard.   
I gaze out into the dark before me. The night is calm and peaceful, not like my once more restless thoughts.   
I needed to think.

I attempted to wiggle out from Trowa, but failed and instead woke him.   
"mmm, where yo' go'in" he voice cracks from lack of use during sleep. I continued to escape and sat on the bed swinging my feet to the cold floor.   
My unusual silence caused him to arouse suspicion and he propped himself up with one of his arms, the other he reached out to me with rubbing my back. I shivered at the contact. 

"Quatre?" I sighed and stood up crossing the room to begin a search for clothing. Finding a pair of white cotton pants I quickly pull them on and walk to the bathroom. Placing a hand on the doors wood frame I heard Trowa grumble and fall back into the bed.   
"It's too early to be doing this Quat." I drop my head and stare at my feet. I'm ashamed and distracted. I heard Trowa sitting up and getting off the bed, his bare feet fall gracefully and tread across the carpet toward me.  
I feel his body heat as he stops just behind me.   
"Trowa..." I begin but am cut off.

"Tell me" he whispers into my ear. My hand slips from its resting place and falls limply to my side. I bring one shoulder up trying to block him out but he pushes it back down, and then traces my neck and shoulder with the same hand. Lastly outlining my jaw, lips, nose- then leaves it to rest over my eyes. Leaving me blind to the world.   
"Tell me" he repeats. I try to shake him off put he doesn't give up easy. Dropping his hand to mine he takes it and uses it to turn me around.   
I look up into his fierce green eyes. I am speechless; my throat locks up again, not in lust but fear.  
Not in fear of Trowa - never in fear of Trowa - in fear of what I thought.

I have been coming to terms with so much and now this. It was now or never...  
"Trowa", I spoke my voice sounding raspy, but with confidence I smiled, "Have I every talked to you about my mother."  
He pauses trying to access the though. Then he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and lead me back to the bed, "Once Quat, but why don't you tell me about her."  
I smiled and sat with him, "I-I think she would have been proud of me Trowa..."


End file.
